So what does that mean, ‘being hurt’ ? Don’t go verbally but actually go into yourself, look at yourself, ask yourself. Psychologically, you are hurt.
your parents hurt you when you were a child, your friends hurt you, your past lovers hurt you. Then the school and college you went to hurt you
— if you didn’t pass your exams, you were told you were no good and this hurt you or you missed standing first in your class by couple of marks and
this hurt you. Then, if you didn’t get a job you were hurt, coz it meant you were’t good enough. Everything (in your mind) in this world has been
put together to hurt you. Our education, which is so rotten, hurts you. The expectations our parents have from us hurts us, because when we don’t
meet them, we are told, “You failed us” and this hurts us. Then you enter into a relatonship, give it everything you have only to discover its not enough
and this hurts us. So you are hurt. By everyone. Do you actually realize that you are hurt?
Now look at the result of being hurt. What does being hurt make you do? It makes you hurt others — with your words or your actions or both.
From your hurt rises anger and resistance — you withdraw and become more inwardly separate. And the more you withdraw, the more you are hurt.
So you build a wall around yourself and pretend.
Why does the hurt take place ? Why are you hurt ? Ask yourself. Don’t just ask yourself mentally, but go deep down and examine yourself.
You are hurt because you have an image about yourself and that image takes a beating every time any of the above happens. As long as you
have an image, you are going to be hurt. The moment you tell me
I’m not good at something, this image that I have built of myself takes a beating. The moment someone walks away from us, our image of that person
and of the relaionship we had ‘imagined’ takes a beating hence we say we are hurt. But what has really happened is that the image that we had built
has now been shattered.
Is it possible to live without an image ? Without any conclusions, any prejudices, any pre-conceived notions ? Can one really live without these ?
To be honest I don’t know. From the time we were kids, we are given an image for everything. This is what a ‘good’ child is –does everything his/her
parents want them to do; this is what a ‘good’ student is; this is what a good ‘partner’ is; this is what a ‘good ‘ citizen is; this is what a ‘good’ doctor is;
this is what a ‘good’ business man is; we are fed with these images all the time so can we really live in this world and abandon these images ?
As long as we hold on to these images, we will be hurt. Because the image will be shattered at some point.
So I ask myself, can I live without these images ?
Aditi M Gaur